i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
