honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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