Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
