I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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