Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
