bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
