like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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