I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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