I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
