Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
