you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
