you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I would fuck him just for his dog
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
