Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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