he thought i was a dude.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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