Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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