she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
