She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
