Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
