I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
