So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
