Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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