I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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