Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
