some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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