There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
