i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
