she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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