You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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