Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
