How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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