just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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