Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
