Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
