we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
