sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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