Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
