Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So vagazzling was a success
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
