Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
