my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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