Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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