we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize