we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
