You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize