11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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