question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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