Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
