I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
