Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she told me i tasted like america
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just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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