Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
