Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
