so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
