New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
