She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?