whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!