Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.