Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings