She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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