is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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