Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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