They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
