So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
did you just send me my own nude
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
