he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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