please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
