Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
